Light After Dark
My name is Abha, meaning ‘light’ in Sanskrit. So it’s pretty ironic that for the better part of my life, my path was shrouded in confusion, and it was only a couple of years ago when I saw that ray of opportunity that brought me where I am now. But let’s rewind a little.
I’m 26 years old, from Maharashtra, India. I’m currently doing my Master’s in Industrial Organization Psychology at the University of Houston-Clear Lake. The journey that brought me here is pretty unconventional, but like most, it starts young.
New Beginnings
From 1st to 3rd grade, I was in a convent school. In 3rd grade, I moved schools, which caused me to have to repeat a grade. Joining my new school, quite a prestigious one, was the best and worst decision I ever made. Being one of the most prestigious schools in my city, it certainly opened up a treasure trove of opportunities for me. But at the same time, being a transfer student meant that I could never hope to fit in with the upper crust. I could never be a part of the rich group or the popular group. I had to stick to my band of misfits and ignore that fact or die trying to be part of the cream crowd.
It’s like Dan said in Gossip Girl, "You couldn't buy your way into this group; you had to be born into it." And I sure as hell wasn’t.
Slowly, I’d started to make my peace with that fact. I started getting a bit popular, writing for social media and getting invited to city-wide talks. That is when vile rumors about me started surfacing towards the end of my 12th grade, a time when everybody else was studying for what was probably the most important exam in their school life. It turned serious when my dad found out, believed them, and grounded me for months. I had to settle for a mediocre college in my city in light of the rules he set up, which included not leaving the city and not being able to use my phone, among others.
Eventually, about a month into this mess of going to a college that was a huge downgrade from my state-of-the-art high school, I snapped. The professors were never present; it was a bad college overall, and I couldn't take any more of it. I tried to find something that fits my wants in my city but to no avail. I had to get out of here. So I pleaded with my father and somehow, somehow, got him to agree to send me to Pune, a metropolitan city.
Of course, there were more problems. By this time, most colleges had already started their semesters. I really wanted to take a hotel management course, but the closest I could get was a BBA in event management, so I settled for that.
To Be Alive Is To Be Chaos
It was a two-year ordeal. I had just finished my final exams when the pandemic hit. During the first wave in India, I decided that pursuing a Master’s in BA would be a good next step. I applied to MIT Pune in July 2020, got in, and completed my MBA there.
While doing my MBA, I also self-trained as a chef, explored the hospitality business, and even thought about starting a business, but I had mixed feelings. There always seemed to be a dealbreaker in any path I was interested in. The Indian food market was, and still is, pretty unstable with the rise in popularity of delivery services. But that is still what I would pursue when I don't have the pressure of making profits out of it. But the hospitality field is male-dominated here and not something I’d like to do in the long run.
During this period, I also began to consider studying abroad again. I considered a PhD in psychology or business, but I ultimately decided that a PhD was too long a commitment and dropped that plan. Realizing I was in a jam, I decided to lay back, give it some time, and let it pan out by itself.
And it did. Finally, a couple of months later, I came across the Industrial-Organizational (IO) Psychology program, which blends psychology and business. It was a perfect fit for me. Instead of the usual 10-15 universities that most people apply to, I applied to a few select universities, but more on that later.
Oh, Troublesome Youth
While a spectator on the outside of the bubble saw only what is described above, the real picture was starkly different. Not only was I struggling with finding a path in life, I was struggling to keep my head above the water for most of my adolescence. Being a psychology student, I’m aware of how my personality was shaped through my childhood. In fact, everyone’s personality is shaped, to some extent, by their childhood. I think that if someone doesn't believe this, either they have never bothered to look back and analyze this effect, or they couldn't make a connection, but a connection is absolutely there. I can even pinpoint certain events that happened in my youth and tell you what effect they had on my personality and life. That being said, these effects were not always positive.
For example, losing my grandfather has affected my personality a lot. Also, my family has had a lot of background mental health issues, and growing up seeing that definitely affects a person. It’s one of the reasons I suffered from depression around the time I finished 10th grade, and it was a really tough time for me. Like I said, I didn’t always fit in at school being a transfer student, and life at home was no carnival either.
[TRIGGER WARNING] Then, during the summer vacation before 12th grade, I attempted suicide, but luckily, it didn’t work.
After this, I was forced to go to therapy. And this was during a time when I was very against psychology as a concept, so I had my doubts. But slowly, I started to let my guard down and entertain the possibility of therapy being good for me. Needless to say, I soon realized that maybe it isn’t all bad at the end of the day. I realized that I like talking to people, I like listening to people, and helping them. And people feeling better after talking to me gave me an indescribable feeling. Ironically, this emotionally trying time in my life is what made me realize that psychology isn’t that bad, actually.
Humility– Companion and Mentor
Another experience that I think had a big role in shaping me as a person is my school experience. Not being the center of attention and having to work my way to the top made me realize that the world does not, in fact, revolve around me. There was no eureka or epiphany moment; it was a culmination of experiences throughout my youth that gave me this trait of humility that I so love.
Learning early on that nothing is beneath you and that you need to take responsibility for yourself is what helps me adapt to this environment where everyone has their own stuff to take care of. No one’s looking at you every moment of every day like you think they are. No one’s thinking about your embarrassing moments for longer than a minute. This isn’t meant to be disheartening– quite the opposite, actually. If nobody’s looking at you, you don’t have to worry about appearances or failures. You can just be.
There are a couple of experiences that taught me humility. Growing up, my mother had a very strong rule in our house: everyone had to clean their own bathroom. My sister and I used to cry and fight about it a lot, but it was non-negotiable. Every bathroom in our house had a suction wiper, and it was a rule to keep the bathroom dry at all times. My mom believed that certain tasks, like cleaning your own toilet, teach humility and responsibility. It did indeed teach me to be humble, even though I realized that fact later on.
I had read somewhere that many Japanese business leaders clean their own toilets to stay grounded. The concept highlighted the importance of humility and self-sufficiency, which I’ve carried into my life abroad.
Yet another person who made me realize just how important it is to be humble is my boyfriend. He’s from Mumbai. When he moved here, he made a conscious effort to change for the better and take control of his life. Watching him go through that transformation was eye-opening for me.
For me, adapting to life abroad wasn’t as difficult. I already had the skills required—taking responsibility, cleaning my own house, and living without domestic help. It wasn’t about learning something new but about dropping my ego. Watching my boyfriend, I realized that if he could embrace humility and learn to adapt to this lifestyle, then I could certainly do it too.
Living here has taught me that you can build a beautiful life if you’re willing to put in the effort. Even the simplest things here—like clean public parks with lakes, ducks, and stunning sunsets—bring so much joy. Back in India, experiencing anything remotely similar requires money and privilege. I’m not saying one country is better than the other—I’m deeply patriotic and value my culture—but here, even the basics make you happy. Life doesn’t feel like a constant struggle for a “better version” of everything. It feels more peaceful, and you realize how fulfilling life can be when you embrace simplicity.
Mother and Mentor
My mother has been a counseling psychologist for 15 years. While I certainly have been inspired by her, her mentorship is slightly more complicated than that. For a long time, I sort of ran away from it. But during the year and a half I spent in Nagpur, I did end up learning a lot from her—though maybe not in the way one would expect.
What I realized is that I don’t want to pursue counseling psychology. Watching her work showed me how difficult this field can be. It’s not just about helping people; it’s also a business. You have to find clients, market yourself, and navigate the social media world, which is honestly overwhelming. Seeing her handle all of that wonderfully, might I add, inspired me, but it also made me realize it’s not my cup of tea.
That said, I have a lot of respect for her. She’s incredible at what she does—she has around 1,500 Instagram followers and actively creates content, from videos to podcasts. She even works with a social media agency to manage her presence. She’s built a strong personal brand, but I learned from observing her that I’m not that person. Her passion is something I have inculcated, but am waiting to use it when I delve into the food industry eventually. She is an amazing role model to me and will continue to be, regardless of whether our careers are related or not.
That said, I did find a mentor for whom I’m extremely grateful. My verbal ability professor at Krishna Consultancy, where I had joined GRE classes. She taught me verbal ability and had a big impact on me. One day in class, we had a deep discussion about psychology, specifically counseling and mental health, and it really clicked. After that, I approached her for guidance with my SOP—the statement of purpose required for applications. She not only agreed to help but also went above and beyond.
What stood out to me was how proactive she was. With most people you seek guidance from, you’re the one constantly asking for help. But with her, she would follow up herself, asking if I was done with a task or if I needed more help. That’s what made her different and why I consider her a mentor. Even now, I stay in touch with her—I text her occasionally, and before I left for abroad, we went out for lunch once or twice. She’s been such a positive influence during that phase of my life.
Applications–How to
I only applied to a few universities because my plan was so specific. I got accepted into the Illinois Institute of Technology (IIT Chicago), the University of Hartford in Connecticut, and UHCL. Unfortunately, I got rejected by Florida Tech, the University of Central Florida (UCF), and the University of New Haven. The rejection from New Haven was surprising. UCF and Florida Tech are competitive, but I suspect the rejections were because of my business background—they likely expected a psychology background, even though my GRE scores exceeded their requirements.
I started preparing for the GRE in August. By November, I was done with most of the applications, but my initial GRE score wasn’t what I expected. In my mock tests, I scored well, but during the actual exam, I struggled because I wasn’t used to the screen calculator they provided—it’s very different from a manual one. My coaching institute hadn’t mentioned this, so I had to retake the GRE in December. That delayed my timeline a bit, but I managed to wrap up everything within three to four months.
The application process for all these universities was quite cumbersome. Now that it’s over, it feels fine, but at the time, it was frustrating. They ask for the same information repeatedly—details that are already included in your resume, like schooling, GPA, and work experience. Even though they request your resume, you still have to manually fill everything out in their forms. It felt redundant and time-consuming.
For UHCL, the application included basic details like name, date of birth, passport number, education history, GPA, work experience, and so on. Then you upload all the documents, and that’s it. It’s straightforward but repetitive.
For my essay, since they didn’t provide a specific topic, I wrote about my journey. Coming from a BBA and MBA background and now transitioning to psychology, my path was very unconventional. Most of the people in my course have a psychology background, so I felt the need to justify my journey. I was candid about my fears because even I struggled to make sense of the shift—it was nerve-wracking to imagine how others might interpret it. Acting on the advice of my mentor, I also tailored each essay by mentioning professors and potential collaborations based on which university I was writing the essay for, but the overall theme of my essay remained consistent.
UHCL And My Experience With It
There wasn’t one specific reason for me to choose UHCL, but I’d heard great things about Texas from people I know. It’s a nice state to live in. I also wanted a program in Industrial-Organisational (IO) Psychology that was STEM-certified, which isn’t common everywhere. I had applied to the University of Central Florida but didn’t get in—it’s a very competitive program. I also got into IIT Chicago but chose Texas because Chicago is extremely cold and mathematically intensive.
Also, the campus is beautiful—it’s located in what feels like a wildlife sanctuary. You can see deer, peacocks, rabbits, squirrels, and there’s even a lake. The buildings are small, but the campus is massive, with lots of recreational spaces.
The faculty was also one of the reasons I chose UHCL. They’re great—helpful, kind, and very supportive throughout the course. However, I do feel a lack of personal connection compared to what I’m used to, probably because there are not a lot of Indian students in my program.
In fields like computer science or MIS, where there are many Indian and international students, it’s easier to feel familiar and comfortable. However, fewer Indian students in my program also mean more opportunities because there’s less competition for internships and jobs, unlike in tech-heavy fields, where competition can be intense.
I think it’s worth mentioning that IO Psychology doesn’t have many scholarships. It’s a smaller program—until last year, there was only one student in the program each year. STEM students usually have better scholarship opportunities, but IO Psychology is still growing in that regard.
Talking about extracurriculars, I recently became the treasurer of the Indian Student Association (ISA). I helped organize a few events, and I’ve been fairly active since I started. I’ve also taken up a part-time job with the Parking and Transportation Department on campus. However, UHCL is a smaller campus, so there aren’t as many part-time job opportunities available. I'm also working on establishing accounts on Instagram and YouTube. I started making videos about my Industrial-Organizational Psychology program because there isn't a lot of information online about the field. I’ve only made two videos so far since I didn’t have much time, but now that I have a break, I plan to restart and focus on creating more content. And cooking is always there in the background. It has always been a passion of mine. It's something I really enjoy, and I see it as a creative outlet for myself.
Finances
I received a $5,000 scholarship for my first year at IIT Chicago, but I decided not to attend since the tuition fees there were much higher than at UHCL, and the scholarship didn’t make much of a difference. Instead, I took an education loan from a bank. The entire banking process was very frustrating and unnecessarily complicated. It felt like the system was designed to wear you down to the point where you’d just agree to terms like higher interest rates or less favorable repayment plans simply to get the process over with.
All the university applications combined cost me about $850. This included $275 for the GRE test, $220 for TOEFL, $80 for the application fee, and an additional $75 to send GRE and TOEFL scores to the university. If you skip the GRE, the cost is reduced by around $300, but many universities, including UHCL, still require it. For students applying to multiple universities, the overall cost can increase significantly. All these are approximate costs.
Moving costs added up to about $2,500. This included purchasing luggage, clothes, and other essentials, which cost around $750, and my flight ticket, which was approximately $1,500. Rent depends on your preferences. I spend about $1,200 a month, of which $700 goes to rent since I wanted my own room. Students who share rooms might spend closer to $900, but there are additional expenses like a security deposit, which can be $500 to $1,000, and apartment application fees, which are usually around $100. These are hidden costs that most consultancies don’t warn you about.
As for tuition, it varies a lot. Here, per course generally is 3 credits. I have a total of 36 credits, at $1050 per credit.
Beyond rent and tuition, there are daily living expenses to consider. Even a small outing, like going to the theatre or buying something, can cost at least $15, and most people end up spending $30 or more. These costs add up quickly, so it’s important to factor them into your budget when planning to study abroad.
Adjustments and Challenges
The first week — and even the first semester — felt like a slow transition. Emotionally, the adaptation process was gradual, like stretching one week into three months. Initially, the excitement of being in a new place masked feelings of homesickness or discomfort. But over time, it was the little things that hit hardest: the way the sun sets early in winter, the quiet streets, and the absence of familiar sights and sounds like my family, dog, or even Indian street food. God, how I miss golgappas.
November was especially tough as I grappled with the weight of my decision and occasional regret. But I realized it’s not the big changes that challenge you; it’s the cumulative effect of small shifts in your environment and routines.
Doubt is a constant companion. Even now, I wonder if I’ll complete this journey. But I’ve learned not to fight it — it’s part of the process. Patience is essential here, as the pace of life is different, and so are social norms. The sacrifices are significant: missing family, my dog, the comfort of Indian food, and even the mental freedom that comes from not being burdened by a massive loan. Over here, the pressure to succeed is relentless — applying to hundreds of internships or jobs isn’t optional; it’s necessary.
Despite the difficulties, being here feels like destiny. Growing up, astrologers often told me I’d live abroad—something I never planned. Yet here I am, managing responsibilities like cooking, cleaning, and loading a dishwasher. These daily tasks remind me of the silence and calm I craved growing up amidst family chaos. They’ve also shown me how adult friendships differ based on shared choices, not forced proximity.
Plus, being an Indian studying in Texas, especially if it’s not an engineering or math course, stands out both positively and negatively. On the one hand, there’s less direct competition in my program, which is an advantage. On the other hand, American students, who often work full-time and don’t face visa hurdles, have financial and professional freedom that’s difficult for us to match. But, I mean, I knew that going in. Of course, there will be struggles when I’m away from home, but just as surely as they’ll come, I’ll get over them. It’s a small price to pay for a dream, really.
The Great Big Void of After
After graduating IO Psychology, I plan to work in People Analytics, although I’m not sure if I want to do a PhD or find a job. My program is STEM-designated, which means I have three years of work authorization under OPT (Optional Practical Training), regardless of whether I secure an H-1B visa sponsorship. My priority, though, like most international students who’ve taken an education loan, is to utilize those three years to pay off my loan and save as much as possible.
If I decide to come back to India, I will aim to find a job equivalent to the one I’d have in the U.S., ideally earning a competitive package of ₹30-40 lakh annually, which aligns with what I’d hope to earn by the end of my time here.
As for a business, it’s not on my immediate radar. While I’ve considered starting a food business someday, it’s a completely different field from what I’m studying. At the moment, my focus is firmly on securing a job in my field.
Parting Advice
Well, for a final few words of advice for all those who have taken the time to read this far. One, don’t take rejections personally. Yes, rejection can feel personal, but it’s important to remember that it often isn’t. For example, universities want to maintain their public rankings, of which student acceptance ratio and yield rates are often a deciding factors. I’ve also heard that they sometimes reject overqualified candidates who they think won’t accept their offer, as this helps their yield rate. They don’t reject them because they aren’t worthy, it’s merely to balance out admission. S,o move forward and focus on the opportunities ahead. It’s probably not personal in the slightest.
Two, essays are critical, but not in the way people think. Your qualifications are already on your resume, so your essay should focus on why you achieved those things and how they shaped who you are. Admissions decisions ultimately depend on whether the program director thinks your story is unique. For example, my program director had a similar background—MBA to IO Psychology—which might have helped. So, keep your essay personal and honest. Don’t write for the Ivy League; write for the person who might relate to you.
Third, scholarships can make a big difference, but many are hidden. Connect with people from your university—on LinkedIn or other platforms—and ask about every scholarship opportunity. Some might not even be listed publicly. Also, budget carefully. Living costs are always higher than estimated, so don’t exceed your tuition budget. The ISA offers some scholarships that not many know about, so I’d suggest Indian students check that out.
Fourth, part-time jobs aren’t as easy to find as consultancies claim. On-campus roles are limited, and competition is stiff. Most positions pay $10/hour for 20 hours a week, which isn’t enough to cover living expenses. Networking is essential—connect with seniors who can refer you to jobs after they graduate.
Five, be prepared for loneliness. Life in the U.S. is quieter compared to India—no traffic noise, no neighbors chatting. You need to learn to enjoy your own company and not rush into relationships or friendships out of loneliness. Also, patience is key. Be patient with your grades, progress, friendships, and even part-time jobs. Don’t rush into anything in the excitement of being in a new country. Take your time, test the waters. Don’t jump straight in.
Don’t let rejections define you, and don’t get caught up in rankings. For everything else, focus on whether the university fits your goals and budget. Email the university for accurate information, and use LinkedIn to get genuine feedback from students. Finally, be yourself—both in your essays and when building your life here.
